October 17, 2007

cigarette

Posted in a one fine day at 4:07 am by monyet

It has been 5 months.
Last time i did it was 7 years ago.. i was in the third grade of junior high at that time.

June 8, 2007.
A day after I bought a fucking bouquet of roses [only cost me 30 thousands!!]
I was in Tasikmalaya at that time.
There was so much thoughts about her [now my ex] in my head:
— was she honest with me?
— what’s she doing with the guy?
— what should i do in our relationship? [well, i have had plan to buy a ring after i got home.. lucky me!!]
And i had so much to do in that town, and i need my brain too!!
With so much task running around in brain, i the multitasking-man got my brain stopped working.
my brain stopped!!

My brain kept undoing nothing-else than perceiving my senses.
It took all day!!
I didn’t like it so much.. i never like that experience, ever!!

So, at the night..
I asked for a cigarette from my friend
he gave me one.
It was a Lucky Strike, the red one.
I burnt it and smoked it..

Then..
all the thoughts that kept running around in my brain suddenly stopped.
Suddenly i can saw them one by one.
[Was i hallucinating? maybe.. but it did help me]
I can picked what i wanted, one by one…

Since that day, i kept smoking.
I have tried to stop
I ain’t need it anyway.
But i still doing it..
yeah, at least i can control it.
i smoke when i want
i can quit when i want
i got my own money to buy it.

But still one thing i kept in my head:
I will not ask someone to start smoking.

You wanna start smoking?
That’s your choice.. use your free will.

7 Comments »

  1. e* said,

    well that fucking bouquet of roses stay in my room. they are now.. dried petals. dried, baby, just like you and me.

  2. monyet said,

    i do not regret had bought that roses..
    i do not regret had given you that roses..
    i just regret that the roses didn’t keep us together..
    they became a metaphor: beauty but then dead and dry.

  3. garam said,

    hhh…….

  4. cere said,

    exactly this post is about the roses or the cigarettes?
    the roses: see…!!!!! Flowers only look beauty for a while… That’s why i hate using flowers as a “love” symbol…
    the cigarettes: since i have quit smoking… i guess… maybe it’s just better being an active smoker than being passive one… since the risk of dying younger are the same… hahaha…

  5. e* said,

    maybe you’re rite, cere. maybe people should stop giving flowers and start giving cactii instead. they are.. not easily be dried and die. and i don’t give a damn whether this post is about roses or cigarettes. i take this post personally and i just think i should.

    and mond, this thing you have on cigarettes, to me it confirms one thing: you are such a control freak. do you know that? you do that all the time, try to control things. and yknow what? control inhibits you. you’ve been and you still are one inhibited soul and you’re talking about free will? how ironic.

  6. kodokijo said,

    yakin ya Bang bisa berhenti ngerokok..

    he…

    jadi terima aja kalo adikmu ini sensi ya…

  7. garam said,

    buat kodokijo: tapi ga usah pake kirim2 stop smoking action gitu donk ke eke… ;p hehe

    buat e*: “you’ve been and you still are one inhibited soul and you’re talking about free will? how ironic.” segitu doang pengetahuan lo? how ironic.


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